This story was in Stella's inbox ready to be sent to me before her passing.
Kyrie sent it on to me and I knew everyone would love to read it and remember how great 'Stella's' talent was and how she loved Journey!.....Thanks Kyrie
"Happy Thanksgiving, All!!! This little "bit" has no place in the BTMB Series. I just wanted to wish all of you HAPPY TURKEY DAY, and tell you how thankful I will always be that we "met"! "
.......................A message from Stella to us!
Happy Thanksgiving!
It's 6am, and the sun is just beginning to shine. It's "Turkey Day", and Neal can hardly control himself. He needs to get up and get going....
The phone rings at Jonathan's house...
Jon: *whispering* "Hello..."
Neal: *not whispering* "Hey, man, HAPPY TURKEY DAY! What are you up to?"
Jon: "I'm stuffing the bird, and making a pie, and peeling potatoes, and..."
Neal: "For crissakes, man! Doesn't that wife of yours even know HOW to cook? Every time I call you, you've got your apron on, and she's got you in the kitchen cooking something! We're supposed to be..."
Jon: "I know... badass rock 'n' rollers.... Well, cooking relaxes me! I like to cook! In an hour or so, the kids'll all be up and we'll bake the pie together! Don't you have any Thanksgiving traditions?"
Neal: "Been on the road since I was 15, man... so, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Jon: "Too bad... if there's ANYONE who could use a tradition or two, it's YOU! It would save me from all these early morning and late night telephone calls checking up on what I'M doing all the time!"
Neal: "So, what you're saying is, basically, I'm a pest....?"
Jon: "Sometimes... what time are you coming over today?"
Neal: "Geez, I dunno... do you really WANT a pest at your Turkey Day dinner?"
Jon: "When the pest is you, yes! So, dinner's at 4pm, but there's football and lots of eats before that, so just come over anytime starting around noon, and we'll watch some football, and drive the wives nuts... okay?"
Neal: "Okay!!! Sounds better -- more manly than baking freaking pies, man! See you then!" (hangs up)
Phone rings at Herbie's house... The answering machine picks up: "Hi, this is Herbie. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out back slaughtering the biggest ^%#$@#&$^#%ing turkey I know... Steve Perry. I'm wringing his little $#^$*&#^%$ing bony neck, and plucking the little #^$%#&#*er, even as we speak. So, at the beep, leave your $&#^$(^@ing message quick, and get lost. Somebody important is probably trying to reach me right now!" (beep)
Neal: "HAPPY TURKEY DAY!, you wildman! That message is a killer! ..."
Herbie: (picking up the phone) "Do you know what %#&*$^#%$(ing time it is?"
Neal: "Yeah... it's 10 past 6! Did I wake you up?..."
Herbie: "No, you freaking moron, I'm up stuffing the %&^#*$^#%@ing turkey! -- Of COURSE YOU WOKE ME UP! What the ^*$^#%@ do you want?"
Neal: "Geez, I just wanted to say hello, and wish you a Happy Turkey Day!..."
Herbie: "So, what are you doing today?"
Neal: "The wife and I are going over to Jonathan's for a feed... What about you?"
Herbie: "Oh..... I have tickets for the 49ers game. And afterward, I'm taking the cheerleaders back here for an orgy... Nothing... I'm doing NOTHING, you a**hole, thanks for asking!.."
Neal: "Why don't you come over to Jonathan's with us? He wouldn't mind...."
Herbie: "Oh, an afternoon listening to every detail of how many times he basted his freaking Butterball, and how many apples he peeled with the kids while baking his pies. My head will &$(#^$%#*$*ing explode!"
Neal: "Well don't say I never asked ya! (beep) ... oh, there's my call waiting -- be right back... (switches to the other line) Neal Schon.."
Ross: "Neal, what time are we going to Jon's on Thanksgiving?"
Neal: "Ross! Hey, man! Happy Turkey Day!!! I'll swing by and get you about a quarter to noon...."
Ross: "On Thanksgiving..."
Neal: "Hey, brainboy, today IS Thanksgiving!"
Ross: "Really? That's not possible... It's still October!"
Neal: "Maybe on YOUR planet, but here on Earth, it's November and TODAY is Turkey Day!"
Ross: "Are you trying to confuse me? Is it Thanksgiving or is it Turkey Day?"
Neal: (yelling) "ROSS! FOR GOD'S SAKE, MAN! THANKSGIVING AND TURKEY DAY ARE THE SAME DAY!"
Ross: "If I were a turkey, I wouldn't want MY day to be the same day that people sit down all over America and eat turkey!"
Neal: "Ross.... you ARE a turkey, man! .... But, don't hurt yourself thinking too hard about it. I'll explain it when I pick you up. It'll keep me from having to talk to the wife all the way to Jon's house..."
Ross: "Okay.... Gotta go. My English Muffin just popped up, and I want to hurry and butter it while it's hot. All that nice butter in all those toasty nooks and crannies... (dial tone)... Ahhhhh, hellllllooooooooo? Neal? Are you still there or did you hang up? Hellllooooooooooo?"
Neal: (clicking back over to Herbie) "Man, that Ross is out to lunch! He forgot today was Thanksgiving...."
Herbie: "The next time you leave me on ^&*$(#&$^ing hold for that ^$*#&^$%ing long, I'm gonna kill you. Do you understand me?"
Neal: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... go back to bed, man. It may help your disposition!"
Herbie: "Happy Thanksgiving, kid...."
Neal: "You, too, man.... Catch ya later!" (hangs up)
Dials Smitty's number... and it rings and rings without a pick-up... Neal: "Figures!" (dials Steve's number... a woman answers...)
Woman: "Hello, Steve Perry's residence..."
Neal: "Helllllooooooo..... Is he, ahhhh, around?"
Woman: "Yes he is... (Steve asks her who it is) ... Who is this?"
Neal: "Tell him it's Neal... I promise to make it short so you two can get back to what you are doing..."
Woman: "Oh, we just finished..."
Neal: "Whoaaaaaa..... good for you! I can wait 'til he catches his breath..."
Woman: "Don't be silly -- he's in GREAT shape, and besides, we only went for 20 minutes, and took it easy... he barely broke a sweat!...."
Neal: "Well, well, well, wanna put the old Studmuffin on the phone so I can congratulate him, please?"
Steve P.: "Neal, what's up?"
Neal: "Man.... who's the girl? She says you just went 20 minutes and barely broke a sweat... I gotta hand it to you... At YOUR age, too."
Steve P.: "Neal.... she's my running partner. We just went for a jog. What do you mean, MY AGE? "
Neal: "Rrriiiigggghhhhttttttttt.... I get it -- always the gentleman... Your exercize coach, your running partner.... Mr. 52-and-always-with-a-chick...."
Steve P.: "Whatever....... Neal WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Neal: "I called to say HAPPY TURKEY DAY!"
Steve P.: "Oh, don't go there! I HATE TURKEYS!..."
Neal: "Gobble, gobble, gobble...." (laughs hysterically)
Steve P.: "Neal, I'm hanging up unless you stop that! That Turkey Ranch cured me forever of ever wanting to hear another turkey in my life!"
Neal: "Gobble, gobble, gobble...." (laughs hysterically)
Steve P.: "NEAL! Stop it! You're worse than a kid sometimes!"
Neal: "So, what are you doing... or should I say WHO?"
Steve P.: "Neal, you are a pig! Do you think that just because I'm single, life is one long parade of beautiful women in and out of my house day and night?"
Neal: "Yeah, basically...."
Steve P.: "Well, grow up! I just want a relaxing day at home. Watching Football in my sweats, and not having to be anywhere NEAR a turkey..."
Neal: "But.... how many ladies will be keeping you company... while you're there....you know, watching Football in your sweats, and all that???"
Steve P.: "Neal, say hi to Jon and his wife for me, okay... Gotta go."
Neal: "Oh, all right! HAPPY TURKEY DAY, man!"
Steve P.: "Yeah, you too... 'Bye, Neal!" (hangs up)
A van pulls into Steve's driveway. It's two of the teams from the San Diego Ladies Football League... He runs out to greet it...
Steve P.: (looking into the van) "Hello, Ladies! Glad you could come!"
Driver: "Hi, Steve... where do you want us to set up?"
Steve P.: "How about right here on the front lawn, so I can sit over there on my porch and watch the game."
One of the players: "So, let me get this right... the Winning Team gets YOU, right?"
Steve P.: "Riiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttttttt!"
Another player: "And the Losing Team???" (pouting)
Steve P.: "Gets me later....."
